I love fruit. I love summer. Unfortunately for me, however, combining these two things leads to something I really do not like: fruit flies. I freaking hate fruit flies. They multiply like, well, flies, until they’re everywhere, scattering and skeezing me out every time I dare to do something in my kitchen.
At this point, some of you may be thinking, “She really needs to make a fruit fly trap! I should tell her about fruit fly traps!” You would not be the first. Every time I complain about fruit flies on Twitter, I get at least four responses telling me how to make fruit fly traps. I appreciate the sentiment, but I already know about fruit fly traps. I’ve been using them for years. In fact, I’ve had one on my counter for weeks now (although not the same one – I do refresh it every few days). It works … sort of. But as soon as I get the fruit flies under control, more of them crop up.
(If you yourself are now asking, “What’s a fruit fly trap?” go here.)
The problem, of course, is that I still have fruit. More than that, I also have compost. If I completely remove both of those things I can get rid of the fruit flies, because they only live a few days. However, I don’t particularly want to live without fruit for months, and I can’t keep all my fruit in hermetically sealed containers, so the fruit flies return. They outnumber me 100 to 1, the numbers are in their favour. While my efforts can bring them to heel temporarily, they will always return. Because I will let down my guard and buy some bananas, and two days later my kitchen will be filled with them.
I remember the first time I did battle with fruit flies. The year was 1997, and my roommate and I found our little apartment kitchen overrun. Not knowing about fruit fly traps at the time, we resorted to other methods. My roommate would try to kill them by clapping them between her hands. I opted for hitting them with a rolled-up newspaper that I kept on top of the microwave. We got rid of our fruit. Eventually they went away. However, today I find it harder to bring them under control, thanks to two kids who also love fruit and who leave it lying around, slowly rotting and attracting flies.
I don’t think fruit flies are particularly dangerous. They don’t spread malaria or hanta virus or the bubonic plague. They don’t bite people. This doesn’t mean I have to like them. Because I don’t like them. So I will continue to do battle, and they will continue to return, year after year, with the fruit I bring into my home.
Freaking fruit flies.