Sometimes I worry that my blog lacks focus. I think about fabulous bloggers that I know who write about one thing, more or less. Whether it’s food, photography, environmentalism, parenting, fitness, product reviews, politics, fashion or what-have-you, there are people who do a much better job than I do of sticking to a central theme or topic. I think it benefits them, as well. Their readers know what they’re coming for, and they know they’re going to find it.
I’ve spent a fair bit of time thinking about what my focus should be. I can’t come up with one. I have some loose themes that I often stick to, mostly because they reflect my personality and where I am in my life. Call it crunchy granola suburban mom in search of a greater sense of purpose and presence. That’s too broad to be a focus, however. On top of that, even that broad categorization is too confining, sometimes. My mind is a big place – vast, in fact. It only makes sense that my blog should reflect that.
Still, I wonder. I wonder if writing would be easier if my choice of topics were more confined. I wonder if I’d receive more accolades, or have more readers, if I wrote for a targeted audience and worked all my search engine optimization magic. I wonder if I’m being overly self-indulgent, by telling myself I simply cannot be confined. I wonder why I chafe so much at imposing more structure on my blog, when I’m such a fan of it in every other area of my life.
I think, perhaps, that last wondering provides the answer. My blog is like my safety valve. It’s one of the places that I don’t have to be ordered and focused. It’s a place where I’m allowed to ditch the structure, and nothing all that bad happens. My kids don’t suffer if my blog lacks structure. Dinner still gets made. My work still gets done. The dishes still get washed. Everyone still gets to school and back on time. I’m at a point in my life where I have a whole lot of responsibility. This blog is a space where I can just be me, not Mom or Employee or Environmentalist or Wife or Responsible Adult. Because the truth is, while I wear all those hats, they don’t always fit me.
Recently, I’ve made a decision. I am re-claiming this space, and owning my lack of focus. I’ve ditched my blogging schedule. I took down my “Advertise Here” buttons. I have eased up on my podcast, interviewing truly fabulous people when they cross my path, but not scrambling to find guests when they don’t. Most importantly of all, though, I’ve given myself permission to just let things happen, instead of making this one more space where I try to impose structure, whether it’s needed or not.
Maybe what I’m saying is that I am trying to accept myself as I am, by accepting my blog as it is. We may not always have focus, but we’re both still pretty good. In any case, the only opinion that truly matters in the end for either one of us is my own.
Sometimes I worry that my blog lacks focus. More and more, though, I’m totally fine with that. More and more, I’m choosing to believe that small is beautiful, whether we’re talking about my blog or my life. More and more, I’m remembering that I’m living my life for me, and that comparing myself to other people is just not helpful at all. Those other bloggers are awesome in their way, and I’m awesome in mine. I don’t have to share their focus to be okay. I’m okay already, just as I am.