Siblings: The Original Frenemies

The sibling relationship is something unique and special. I have a younger sister myself, so I understand the dynamic that can evolve, in which you both adore and are highly annoyed by your sibling. I also see it with my own two children. My daughter Hannah is 11 now and my son Jacob is seven and a half and they are simultaneously the best of friends and worst of enemies. The are each other’s biggest defenders and worst antagonists. Frenemies par excellence, as it were. I often say that the dynamic goes something like this:

“You’re not allowed to hit my sister/brother! Only I’m allowed to do that!”

I really do adore it. And I am so happy that my kids have each other.

siblings

All of this does present its challenges, however. Anytime that we’re deciding how to spend a Saturday afternoon, anytime we’re choosing what to have for lunch, and anytime that they’re trying to decide what to watch on TV there is a conflict. It’s inevitable. If you have more than one child, you are likely familiar with this.

I’ve actually written about my role as a peace negotiator before. Once again, if you have more than one child, you can probably relate. Of course I encourage my children to work together and solve their own problems, but this just doesn’t always happen. After all, children are just learning. They need support from adults when developing life skills, like choosing something to see on Netflix. My hope is that by learning how to manage these small (to me) conflicts now, they are developing skills that will serve them later in life when stuff gets real.

Fingers crossed.

siblings

I like to think that, beyond conflict negotiation, having a sibling who is different from you has a lot of benefits. With a daughter and a son we have a well-balanced variety of toys and dress-up clothes and so on. With three and a half years between my kids we also have an array of interests and activities happening in our lives. My children are exposed to things they otherwise might not be. My daughter and son have both enjoyed movies and TV shows and games and foods that they were initially forced to try to make the peace. It’s stressful in the moment, but in the long run everyone wins.

Again, fingers crossed.

This month Netflix is doing something to try to help parents out. They created Netflix Siblings Playlists that are meant to cater to a wide range of ages and interests. This is really helpful to me, because as I said my kids are two very different people. The Meet in the Middle playlist was most appealing to my kids. Of course, your mileage may vary, but any little thing you can do to keep the peace helps, right?

To siblings!

I was inspired to write this post because I am a member of the Netflix Stream Team. The opinions in the post are my own, but take the fact that I receive cool promotional swag from Netflix as you will.

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Comments

  1. I feel your pain Amber. It’s a constant battle in our house over the smallest of things….a sigh directed in the wrong direction even. As the girls are growing older some things are getting easier and some things are not. I want them so much to be best friends forever. I never had that relationship as a child. I was pretty much an only child with 3 much older brothers who were getting married and having families of their own when I was in grade 4.
    Heather’s last post … The Painful Act of Letting GoMy Profile

    • I can only imagine that the love-hate vibe is even stronger with two girls who are so much closer in age. With a boy and a girl three-and-a-half years apart I think there are fewer conflicts, but also there will be less of that closeness.

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