It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! September’s theme is relationships. Because having the right people in our corner can make all the difference. In the last few weeks I talked about sharing your dreams with the people you meet, sharing your dreams with your partner, sharing your dreams with your family and sharing your dreams with your children. This week I’m going to get all touchy-feely and talk about how your dreams affect your relationship with yourself.
Self-esteem is a loaded phrase. Self love is also a loaded phrase, and as an extra bonus it’s rife with double entendre. You know what I mean, don’t make me spell it out for you. Ahem. Anyway, in spite of the loaded-ness, we all want to feel good about ourselves. Many of us wish that we felt better about ourselves than we do. Our own self-doubts and negative self-talk can really interfere with our happiness and our self-motivation, which is no fun.
Your self-esteem issues can become even bigger when you start stepping outside your comfort zone and asking yourself what it is that you really dream of. Mine can, anyways. I start singing the old familiar tune of who do I think I am, anyway and I don’t have what it takes and I should really just be happy with what I already have. It’s my lizard brain, trying to protect me from danger. Imaginary danger, most likely, but it doesn’t know that. It’s not that smart.
But that’s only half the story. The other half of the story is that when I start dreaming and following my heart, I feel an amazing tingly feeling that lets me know I’m on to something big. Granting myself the freedom to do the things that I love, the things that I feel good about doing and the things that feed my soul is amazingly awesome. It reminds me who I am – a pretty cool person who can do a whole lot of stuff. The creative power of dreams fill me with positivity about the world, about others and about myself.
For me, there’s always this tension in dreaming. There’s the really great side where everything is possible because I rock. And there’s the not so great side where I don’t even know what I’m thinking and I’m worried that I’m being silly and irresponsible and naive. I vacillate between these poles, sometimes spending a lot of time on one side, sometimes spending a lot of time on the other. And sometimes just feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work on my plate and the fact that my toddler kept me up the last 3 nights and I have a birthday party to plan and all that jazz.
But what does this really mean? There’s always tension in life, always good and bad, always up and down. So how does dreaming really affect my relationship with myself? Is any of this really any different than the ups and downs I experienced when I was living a much more conventional life in a cubicle?
There are differences. Big ones. And here’s what it all comes down to for me. When I’m following my heart, I’m more in tune with myself. I am doing things that I choose to do. Yes, those have downsides, just like anything else. But they’re downsides I chose. They’re the compromises I make because they good in them outweighs the bad for me. And as I work through the negativity – what Havi would call the stuck – I come out of it even better-equipped to pursue my dreams. It’s not just about putting my head down and getting through something and hoping that Friday gets here soon, it’s about building a life and a self that really fits me.
Because I’m calling the shots (mostly), I feel more at home in my skin now than I have almost ever. I am forming a more authentic relationship with myself, and it’s a good thing. Not a perfect thing, of course. But good all the same. Works in progress can still be good. After all, we’re all works in progress, all of us, all the time. Awesomely imperfect and miraculous works in progress. With lizard brains and neuroses and fears and ideals. And maybe no buns of steel.
Who needs buns of steel, anyway? They’d probably just be uncomfortable to sit on. Am I right, or am I right?
How does dreaming affect your relationship with yourself or others? I’d love to hear! I’d also love it if you would play along in my link-up. Include a link to a post you’ve written anytime in the past about relationships, and dreaming, and following your heart.